Inspiration can come from strange places. I recently had a mindset shifting realization from a completely unexpected source. Thanks to elementary-aged children, our house has Disney music playing on a frequent basis. One of the songs from Encanto caught me off guard and made me change my perspective on how I had been approaching the challenges which life brought my way.
I don’t think that I would describe my demeanor prior to this moment as being timid or scared of accepting new challenges, but I experience some hesitation at those moments when significant work was being assigned. A part of me hoped to be assigned an assistant-type role so that I could avoid making mistakes in a more critical role. Now that I am trying to analyze my motives for doing this, I feel as if this was due to an impostor syndrome-type response and not having confidence in my own abilities and experiences. I was terrified of making a mistake on an important part of a project that would jeopardize my organization’s mission and reputation.
One day I was listening to a song from Encanto, specifically, “Surface Pressure”. The song is about one of the characters feeling like they always must handle the load of responsibility due to their immense strength. She is worried that since her strength is failing, she will not have a role in the family. The specific line she sings is “who am I if I can’t carry the ball?” This caused me to wonder if I had the same attitude. What if I wanted to “carry the ball” instead of preferring to be a happy little helper?
My whole purpose of being revolves around action over inaction. I enjoy overcoming obstacles and completing difficult tasks. What I hadn’t fully reconciled in my mind until this point was that failure is going to accompany undertaking difficult tasks. If my entire sense of gratification comes from undertaking and accomplishing difficult things, then I am going to fail on a regular basis. I should not let my fear of failure override all the other aspects of my life and force me into a position characterized by hesitation.
The benefit of failures, or making mistakes, is that I can learn from those mistakes to avoid making them in the future. Experience is the best teacher and there is no better lesson than to from your own mistakes. In an ideal situation I should learn a lesson simply by listening to others. While it would be convenient to be able to gain experience through the lessons of others, these lessons don’t have the salience, at least in my experience, that lessons learned by making my own errors have.
Another benefit of happily taking on difficult assignments is that you gain valuable repetitions in difficult areas. If I were to spend all my time avoiding difficult assignments, then I would have no experience in those tasks. My goal is to make myself as proficient as possible in as many valuable areas as possible. This cannot be done by avoiding difficult things. The human body, as well as spirit, is extremely adaptive when it comes to imposed stress. The more time that you spend in uncomfortable situations the more acclimated you will become to being uncomfortable.
There are many caveats that come with this lesson so that it is not misunderstood. First, there is nothing wrong with someone who takes secondary roles for the right reasons. A person who understands the value of a “second fiddle” and willingly takes the role to assist the team with its task is an invaluable asset. Second, a properly functioning team needs diversity in roles and personalities. A football team that is entirely composed of quarterbacks is going to struggle in its Offensive and Defensive Line play. Someone who finds themselves consistently in a secondary role is not of any less value than a person who is constantly in the spotlight. Third, check yourself to see if you are selecting yourself into a primary role because of your ego. If you feel like you are the only person in your organization who can handle the critical role it is time for you to bring someone else up to speed. You have failed in your responsibility to mentor those around you.
I have also been contemplating what to do when the people around you don’t have the same attitude. What do I do when I am surrounded by individuals who want to do as little as possible? My own suggestion to myself is that I should lead by example. Most people, including me, want to do the right thing, but they lack an appropriate model of what they should be doing. I should do my utter best to demonstrate a willingness to do the hard task whenever it is required. If more than one or two people can get on the same page with this goal an organizational culture can be formed. This organizational culture can induce a snowball effect in which the common practice is for people to look for ways to carry the load whenever possible.
Some people are only lacking some encouragement before they will happily run with the ball. Self-doubt can be a powerful force, but if they were to receive guidance in how to do it, or an encouraging prompt in the right direction they will get off and running. There have been several instances in my life that I have been encouraged to take an extra step at work or shoulder some responsibility that is above and beyond my normal duties. Once I had this prompt, I was able to accomplish a new task which led me to want to do it again.
Inspiration indeed comes from strange places, and I think that this song was the light bulb moment that finally allowed me to articulate something I had been thinking about for some time. My goal going forward is to eagerly accept the hand-off and enjoy running with the ball whenever possible. The saying seems cliché, but unless I leave my comfort zone, I will not expand my comfort zone.
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